Marie's Suicide Note
by Wolvie's Wives
Summary: Self explanatory! read the title. Disclaimer: I do not own X men, the movies or any of the charachters. Enjoy! Read and review!


_Dear Logan, _

_You left me today. _

_You broke me today._

_I just... I don't understand. _

_You save me from the road, you fight Sabretooth... _

_When you woke up here, you worried about ME. _

_That's why I came to your room when you had that nightmare... You stabbed me, I pretty much deserved that I suppose. _

_But I TOUCHED you... _

_God Logan!_

_You'll never know how much I regret that night._

_I don't regret coming into your room. _

_I don't regret you stabbing me. _

_I don't even regret you invading my body and taking over my mind._

_But I'll always regret healing myself... _

_Not only did I hurt you._

_It confirmed all their fears._

_I could hear the whispers in their rooms when Scott, Jean, Storm and the Professor got you to the Medical lab. And even when you were brought back to your room they were still whispering._

_Nobody stayed to check on ME, Logan. _

_Nobody cared enough to even ask me if I was okay. _

_So I ran... _

_I ran and who found me?_

_Not Scott... _

_Not Storm... _

_YOU... _

_You found me Logan. _

_You found me and you promised me that you'd look out for me. _

_That you'd protect me. _

_And I suppose you did... _

_Magneto grabbed me right from your side and you came to my rescue. Once again. _

_There are not a lot of mutants that can take you down,_

_but that night you faced the three most dangerous ones. _

_Just for me..._

_You fought Sabretooth, who just like you can't be killed, or so we thought... Cause you found a way, a way to kill him so you could get to me..._

_You don't know it, but I saw your fight with Sabretooth. _

_The determination to get to me in time to save me... _

_It made me feel cared for, worth fighting for._

_Nobody has fought for me since I left home Logan. _

_NOBODY! _

_But you did..._

_And even after you managed to kill Sabretooth, you didn't stop... _

_After risking your life in a fight with Sabretooth, you risked it again in a fight with Magneto. _

_Magneto, who could have killed you without a second thought._

_Still you flew up to the torch to me and you faced him and somehow you won._

_I don't even know how you managed to survive that fight... let alone win it._

_When I saw you suffering, I just, I stopped fighting Logan... _

_I thought that if I was gone there would be no more reason for you to fight. There would be no more reason for you to hurt..._

_But the next thing I remember is fear and pain filling me._

_Your fear. _

_Your pain. _

_Fear that you weren't going to be enough to save me... _

_The pain that I inflicted on you when my skin turned on..._

_I was so shocked when I saw you lying at my feet. _

_Covered in blood, knowing I did that to you._

_While you were unconscious in the medical lab I was in your room. Sitting in the corner, with my arms wrapped around myself. _

_None of the other kids came near me._

_None of the teachers cared._

_So I sat there, alone, for days, rocking myself, trying desperately to get both you and Erik under control without sacrificing myself._

_Hoping you'd come for me..._

_You never did..._

_When you finally woke up yesterday I felt it._

_The you inside my head finally relaxed its tight grip it had on my psyche. As if he knew you were awake again. As if he knew he could stop worrying so much about protecting me, knowing you would._

_So I came down to the medical lab._

_Hoping you'd save me from my loneliness... _

_My isolation... _

_But you didn't..._

_Jean told you about my obvious crush. _

_Not only did you deny my heart, but you denied me yours, Logan._

_You told her your heart didn't belong to me._

_That I have no right to love you... but I do... I love you Logan... _

_And it pains me to no end that I'll never get a chance to look you in your eyes and say those words. _

_Those words my heart screams at you every day: _

_I. LOVE. YOU._

_Logan, _

_You've saved my life countless times. _

_You saved me from the road, Sabretooth, death by claws, Sabretooth again, Magneto... _

_But when it really mattered to me... you denied me. _

_Logan, _

_I'm sorry I'm not stronger._

_I know I should be, but I'm not..._

_The dog tags you gave me and the two promises you made are not enough to fight back the loneliness. _

_They are not enough to fight back the pain of being the outcast that nobody wants... _

_Nobody even looks at twice..._

_I know they should be... but they aren't... not anymore..._

_You showed me what it feels like to be cared for... _

_To be considered worth fighting for... _

_To love someone like I love you..._

_I know I should accept my reality and move on. _

_But I can't... _

_I'm sorry..._

_I'm so sorry Logan..._

_I love you..._

_Your Marie…_

Tiny teardrops trickling down from Logan's face, added more smudges to Marie's last, precious words.

The already stained and soiled letter deteriorated more and more every time Logan read the letter, not that it mattered, because by now he knew her words by heart.

They echoed through his mind like a mantra, playing his guilt with every heartbeat.

The letter Marie had written before she had released her own claws...

The claws that he had forced upon her after the Statue of Liberty incident.

Before she had taken of all of her clothes and stepped into her

bath tub...

Wearing nothing but his dog tags...

It had been 37 years since he had heard the Professors panicked

call demanding his return to the mansion ... to her.

It had been 37 years since he couldn't save her... didn't save her.

"I love you too Marie..."

He pressed a kiss on the old letter.

It had been 37 years and the pain and guilt only got stronger

every year.

"God, baby…I love you too…"


End file.
